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Learning to Trust After a Lifetime of Secrecy & Lies

The Darin Method® Helped Me Find the Roots of my Adult Anxiety & Depression

As told to Linda Darin

My client’s deep anxiety and depression stemmed from a childhood amid addicts filled with secrecy and lies. The Darin Method® gave her the insight she needed to begin to finally trust herself and others. Here is her story in her words.

I have struggled with perfectionism and control issues my whole life. I needed things to go the way I wanted. When they did not, I became incredibly frustrated, anxious, and depressed.

As a child, I grew up in a family of addicts. Life was chaotic and unpredictable. In working with Linda through The Darin Method®, I came to understand how that unpredictability led to anxiety and depression, which were the root causes of my patterns and belief systems. Not only did they manifest in my early childhood years, but they continued into adulthood.

The Root of My Mistrust

Using guided imagery, Linda walked me through the first five years of my life. We did a deep dive into the patterns that emerged from my childhood. Before I even turned five years old, I had significant anxiety in both trusting others and trusting myself.

With the help of Linda’s intuitive counsel, I learned that the surrounding chaos limited my trust in the adults who were supposed to take care of me. My mother would often get distracted with her own feelings; she was unable to be the emotionally present parent I needed. My father worked for a company based out of state, so he was physically not present. My brother was the only constant in my life, and I depended upon him to take care of me.

Pattern: Mistrust; relationships are not safe
Belief: My brother is the only person that will take care of me.
Emotion: Fear, confusion, anger
Stronghold: Anxiety and depression

This pattern continued into my adult years. I relied on my brother throughout my life struggles. All other relationships were suspect to me; I did not trust anyone else. Linda helped me realize that I built walls around myself due to the lack of trust I had in other people.

When my brother developed his own addiction, I was completely lost. I could not cope with the extreme betrayal, anger and bitterness I felt towards him. His death is what brought me to Linda.

It was through The Darin Method® that I uncovered the root of my mistrust in others. I was able to process my feelings towards my brother through Chakra work. During our Energy Healings, Linda helped me sever the cords that were binding me to my brother, even in his death. The release of energy between us was like having a heavy anvil lifted off my chest, allowing me to feel only love. It was freeing and something I never thought would be possible once someone has passed.

Learning to Trust Myself

In addition to mistrusting others, I learned that I could not trust myself. Coming from a family of addicts, my feelings were often invalidated, or certain situations were simply not spoken about out of fear and shame. I could not rely on what I thought or felt. Instead, I relied on others for guidance.

Pattern: Following others
Belief: I can’t trust myself.
Emotion: Fear, confusion, loneliness, confusion, codependency, self-doubt
Stronghold: Anxiety and depression

During intuitive counseling sessions with Linda, we uncovered all the different people in my life that I have followed in addition to my brother. I was highly influenced by my friends growing up. I would often default to what others wanted because I never trusted that I would be accepted should I express my own thoughts or feelings. I went on to depend greatly on my supervisor at work. I assumed that her approach was better than mine because I had such extreme self-doubt and low self-esteem. I also compared myself to others, specifically my cousin, and always felt I came up lacking.

Through Linda’s spiritual healing counsel, I learned what was lacking was a faith in God. One of the core issues was that I felt so depressed and alone in this world. Linda taught me that once you have a relationship with God, you are never truly alone. Being able to turn towards Him for guidance has been the crux of learning to be independent of others. Taking time daily for prayer and gratitude has helped me feel less anxious about making decisions for myself and less depressed about standing on my own.

From Darkness to Light, Truth and Trust

In working on The Darin Method® with Linda, my birth to five-year-old story allowed me to see all the secrecy and lies that characterized my childhood. The addiction in my family created many feelings of shame, guilt and codependency. My mother strove to keep the family shame hidden, leading to lies and secrecy. I took on all of these dark emotions as my own and felt I needed to hide them from others.

Pattern: Hiding, lying and pretending
Belief: You do not let the world see your darkness
Emotion: Fear, shame, confusion
Stronghold: anxiety and depression

I was taught to keep secrets about the family to myself. In working with Linda, I realized that the shame my family felt manifested as not speaking the truth about our darkness. I learned to pretend that everything was fine so that no one could see the truth. My family was in fear of being judged and I continued that fear throughout my life.

I learned to adapt to different situations and be the person I thought people wanted me to be. I was so concerned about people liking me that I hid all dark aspects of myself from others. I could not admit that I had feelings of jealousy, anger, and shame. This affected every aspect of my life- I was a chameleon. I could adjust my personality to the situation and people who surrounded me.

Through Chakra work with Linda, I was able to recognize these feelings and work to move them out. Writing my emotions daily has been a huge tool in acknowledging the light and dark aspects of myself. In our monthly women’s group, hiding and pretending is not tolerated. There is an expectation of showing up as mature, responsible and honest about your darkness. Linda has helped me become a more authentic version of myself through our weekly virtual counseling sessions by providing a loving, safe space while keeping me accountable for my darkness.

Embracing Change

In moving through my birth-to-five story, l realized the extent to which I found the world unpredictable and scary. Because there were so many addicts in my family, there was always a sense of dread lingering. No one knew when something traumatic was going to happen, so I was always in a state of anticipatory anxiety. I learned that there was comfort in consistency. If I did not change anything, then there wouldn’t be any awful surprises.

Pattern: Remaining safe / consistent / not changing
Belief: When things remain the same, nothing bad can happen. New things are frightening.
Emotion: Fear, confusion
Stronghold: Anxiety and depression

This pattern kept me stuck in many ways. In my teens and into adulthood, I would often get into relationships that were unhealthy. I stayed in them because I was comfortable. The thought of moving on and being on my own was terrifying. It also kept me at a toxic job for many years because the thought of leaving produced so much anxiety that I felt staying was easier. This, of course, was an illusion.

The reality was that I was too anxious and fearful to move on. The anxiety and fear had a stronghold on me. With the help of Linda through Chakra balancing and sound healing, I was able to move out the fear that kept me stuck.

Importantly, Linda provided a safe space for me to rebuild my relationship with God. I was able to come back to God in a new way and renewed my faith in His plan. Being able to have trust in God’s plan is a freeing feeling and helps alleviate the anxiety I feel with change. It gives me the courage to face new challenges and experiences in my life.

Facing Perfectionism and Conquering Anxiety

The shame that I felt growing up manifested into perfectionism. Since the life I was living felt so chaotic and unpredictable, I longed for control. To feel in control, I needed everything in my life to go according to plan. I was uptight and rigid with my expectations of myself and others around me.

Pattern: Perfectionism
Belief: I need to be perfect for people to like me. I need to be in control.
Emotion: Fear, shame, confusion, anger, rejection
Stronghold: Anxiety and depression

Through intuitive counseling sessions, Linda, helped me understand how people experience me. I thought I presented as controlled with an orderly outward appearance; however, people found me to be cold and unloving. My perfectionism built walls; people walked on eggshells around me. They did not feel as if they were in a warm, loving presence.

My anxiety was actually the thing that was pushing people away. In addition, when things did not go how I wanted them to go in my life, I would fall into a depressed, victim-like mentality. Whether it was getting into the college I wanted or trying to get pregnant, when life did not go as planned, I retreated into myself and had thoughts of “why me” and “poor me.”

In working with Linda in the Deliverance of Evil Spirits book, I could see that my perfectionism had me bonded in fear, rejection, and anxiety. Linda has helped me move the fear out of my soul through Chakra Balancing and Energy Healings. Reflecting on gratitude every day has also been a huge tool in helping me focus on all the positives in my life and reinforced my faith in God’s plan for me.

Linda has helped me understand that I am both light and dark and it’s in acknowledging the dark emotions that allow me to move them out. It is through Linda’s intuitive counseling and faith in God’s plan that I have become a more honest and authentic person. Linda has allowed me see clearly and helped me from passing on these toxic patterns to my daughter. I am truly thankful to have started this journey with Linda because it has brought me to such a better understanding of myself and the tools I need to make myself a more loving, compassionate, and understanding daughter, friend, wife and mother.

Thank you, Linda!

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