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How Childhood Trust Issues Led to Anxiety and Depression in Adulthood

Changing the patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you

As told to Linda Darin

We all grapple with issues stemming from our childhood. I’m sharing this inspirational story, as told by one of my clients, that shows the true power of healing.

I’ve felt on edge ever since I was a little girl. Though I was too young to realize it, I showed signs of anxiety and mild depression before I even turned five. I was fearful and clingy. I lacked self-confidence. I did not trust in myself or in others.

You might imagine that I would outgrow these “childish” behaviors. Yet they ran deep. Those trust issues followed me well into adulthood, bringing with them increasing levels of anxiety and depression. I needed to break the cycle. That’s when I turned to Linda and the Darin Method®.

Using the Darin Method®, Linda identified my early signs of anxiety and mild depression from birth through age 5.  She helped me examine the root causes. In that way, I could see how my anxiety and depression was present as a child and later manifested as an adult.

This process gave me the ability to change those debilitating patterns. I wanted to stop repeating the behavior patterns from my childhood and learn to break down the strongholds that kept me in bondage. Only then could I truly heal.

Linda provided me with a list of tools to help me move out the anxiety and depression. Additional Energy Healing and Chakra Balancing sessions brought clarity and focus to keep moving forward.

Conquering Anxiety

As I chose to dig deep, I discovered that my anxiety was a hidden form of doubt, disbelief, lack of trust in myself and others. I felt insecure and feared being left alone to rely on myself. Growing up, frequent shaming and mixed messages made me doubt myself and my abilities. It caused me to be afraid to speak up and to be mistrustful of others. I did not feel connected to my parents, and not having a close relationship with my extended family caused me to question if anyone loved me.

I soon discovered my anxiety as a child took place in several forms. I had “generalized anxiety” manifested in feelings on edge, trouble falling asleep, and difficulty expressing myself. I became shy and often felt self-conscious around people I didn’t know very well. I frequently depended on my brother to speak up for me, help me feel safe, and comfort me when I was upset. I bit my nails to cope with my anxiety.

Pattern: letting my brother take care of me
Belief: I feel safe and loved by my brother
Emotion: insecurity, not feeling safe
Stronghold: anxiety + depression

As an adult, I continued the pattern of being afraid to speak up. I consistently looked to others to speak for me for fear of looking bad. At work, I was good at being behind the scenes. I came up with the information but had someone else present it.

Similarly, there were times in my marriage when I relied on my husband to speak for me. When my daughter was in elementary school, I had to fight with the school district to get her services. When I couldn’t make headway, I would get frustrated and lose confidence. I began developing headaches and anxiety whenever I had to speak with school administrators. I gave my husband the information and had him take over because I couldn’t handle it anymore. My reliance on others to speak for me became a form of codependency.

Through Soul Healings and weekly Chakra Balancing and Energy Healings, God used Linda to help me let go of my fear. I began utilizing holistic tools in the root chakra. I used color therapy, wearing red clothing and writing with a red pen. I applied essential tea tree oil, doing certain yoga poses, and breathing exercises to help me feel more secure and improve my speaking ability. I also used massage to feel more grounded in my self-loving acts.

Conquering Fear of Abandonment

When I was four, I began to develop separation anxiety following my great-grandmother’s death. Whenever I was out with my family, I would panic if they were not within my sight. I would also panic if I were dropped off at someone’s house to babysit me. The thought of being abandoned and left all alone terrified me.

Pattern: crying and having a panic attack when parents were out of eyesight
Belief: I’m going to be left all alone, abandoned
Emotion: fear, abandonment
Stronghold: anxiety

As my parents are getting older and their health is declining, I’m now facing the reality that my time left with them is limited, and I will eventually be on my own.

I am reflecting and seeing how God has been with me the whole time through all my brokenness and never left me. Linda’s Intuitive Counsel assisted me to discern how God has helped me in so many ways over the past several years. As I went through different trials and tribulations, I realized that I didn’t always recognize His presence. I was too focused on my circumstances rather than Him and all He was doing. The revelation of knowing I am not alone because He is always with me has given me great comfort and reassurance that I am safe.

Conquering Fear of Change

Over the years, anytime I faced change, I developed anxiety rooted in fear of not knowing what to do, causing me to feel overwhelmed and insecure. I created a pattern of being paralyzed by fear (stuck). Each time I met change, I needed help to become unstuck and move forward. The fear caused me to feel helpless, hopeless, and powerless.

Pattern: being inflexible (false sense of security), not adapting to change
Belief: I need to control things to feel safe
Emotions: fear, insecurity, lack of trust
Stronghold: anxiety

There were many situations in my adult life when I became stuck and couldn’t make decisions, causing me more anxiety. When I lost my job, I procrastinated updating my resume and learning how to navigate LinkedIn. I became resistant to change, preferring to talk doom and gloom and feel like a victim. I am very good at playing the victim, and Linda guides me to heal the inner core issues that have remained from childhood. With this guidance, I have found a new job.

During my Intuitive Counseling sessions with Linda, each time I faced a situation that caused me to get stuck, Linda was able to help me focus and prioritize what needed to get done. She had me write out my challenge and what I am afraid of, taking time to breathe. I then write the steps I can take to change the situation.

I’ve been getting out of my negative mindset recently by being aware of my thoughts, writing out my emotions, and watching what I say so I don’t curse myself with my words. I realize the power of my words and thoughts and how they affect my life.

Conquering Depression

My depression as a child manifested itself as feeling powerless, hopeless, and helpless, like a victim. I had low self-esteem, and was shy and introverted. I traced the roots of my depression to not feeling loved. I felt controlled, powerless with no voice. I felt alone due to not having someone I could trust to love me. I doubted that I could be loved, cared for, and kept safe and secure. I developed a flooding panic response whenever I was shamed or victimized, which caused me to cry or yell. Doing the Soul Work and healing the fragments and aspects helped me connect to myself in a new way.

Pattern: feeling helpless, hopeless, like a victim
Belief:  I have no power, no voice
Emotions: fear, shame, anger, rage
Stronghold: anxiety + depression

Breaking the Cycle of Deception

My relationships with my family, ex-husband, and children had power struggles and trust issues, which brought fear and kept me locked in the Drama Triangle of Victim, codependency, and anger.  I often wanted to control my environment. Not having control made me feel chaotic and anxious and would cause me to rage and yell.

My perfectionism kicked in when my house wasn’t in order.  I had a pattern of shaming and yelling at my children when they didn’t do what was asked of them and left a mess. I ended up doing to my children what my mother did to me. The generational curse continued. I would yell at my husband when I didn’t feel supported. My daughter’s developmental delays triggered shame and frustration, which often led to power struggles. I had trouble accepting my children for who they were. As they got older, they began to lie and withhold information from my husband and me.

I could see there was a lot of lying and manipulation that took place in my relationships with family members. Not trusting how the other person would respond and the belief that I had no voice caused me not to speak my truth. I learned to lie and manipulate by withholding information or not telling the whole story to protect myself from feeling shame. I can see how my children repeated this pattern, causing me not to trust them.

Not speaking my truth and being surrounded by so many lies gave me a lot of anxiety. There was always so much drama in my house, which contributed to my depression. As my way to cope, I complained to my friends and looked for them to fill me up, but instead, I always felt empty and angry. With Linda’s Spiritual Guidance and Healing, I’ve learned to release my anger and dark emotions and used Chakra and Sound healings, journaling my feelings, acknowledging my sins, repenting, and praying for my enemies.

Letting go of secrets and learning to trust

While married, my husband and I kept many secrets from each other. Over time, without trust or emotional support, I felt lonely and depressed. I coped by getting caught up in routine and living a robotic life to feel secure. I was detached from my husband and children and wanted to be taken care of to soothe my anxiety. My family didn’t know what to expect from me or how I would show up each day. More drama and codependency, which made my anxiety and depression worse.

Pattern: having an attitude of indifference, not feeling good about self
Belief-no one cares about me; no one likes me.
Emotion: loneliness, rejection, jealousy
Stronghold: depression

Through Linda’s Intuitive Counseling and The Darin Method®, I better understand why I lie and withhold information. I’ve come to realize that trust is about truth. The key to Soul Prosperity is the truth! I am learning to choose to speak my truth to trust myself, and others can trust me.  Putting my focus on daily prayer, reading the bible, and reciting verses out loud has been helping me deal with my trust issues. I’m trusting more as I see how people show up in my life and assist me throughout my journey. John 18:37-38.

With Linda’s Spiritual Healing and Guidance, she taught me the importance of establishing a personal relationship with God. Spending quiet time with Him in the morning, talking to him during the day, and letting Him know what I am grateful for has fostered an intimacy I have never had before. And participating in Linda’s weekly Experiencing God workshop  has been helping me to feel more connected to God and understanding Him in ways I have never known. I like to start my day with light prayer and end each day with the angel of clearing and reciting Psalms 23 and 91. During the day, I try and fit in some time for Self-Care. I feel my mind, body, and spirit are connected more deeply.

As I connect more to God and take time for Self-Care, I can feel my depression subside. Knowing that God loves me and will always be there to provide and protect me throughout all my trials is helping me to break the bondage of fear and lack of trust. Through my connection with God, He is shifting my mindset and opening the door to bringing new people into my life. He is creating new opportunities for me.

I have clarity about my anxiety and depression roots, and I choose to move in a new direction. With Linda’s encouragement, Spiritual Guidance and Healing, and her deep faith and belief in God, I’m learning to have a relationship with God and utilize tools to help me break down the strongholds of my anxiety and depression. I am reversing my negative patterns of behavior. I feel abundance and prosperity as aspects and fragments of my Soul have been put back into alignment. The Soul Work has been mighty.

I’m so very grateful. Thank You, Linda.

Thank you, God!

 

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Linda Darin of Darin Transformations, LLC is proud to be one of the most respected complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) providers and offers remote spiritual healing sessions. Worldwide online, Zoom and phone sessions are available. To request an appointment, or for more information call Linda Darin at 914-500-3712 or complete the form below.





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