Pretending to have it all together was making me feel crazy. I could hide behind the image I projected and wanted people to believe; the high-level career in fashion, a successful marriage without kids, the eccentric style of a creative designer, and a luxury apartment. Instead, I lied to hide the truth of my life. I lied to hide the shame of my miserable marriage, the anxiety of compounding debt, and my unkempt home. I used alcohol, food, and shopping to numb the pain and suffering I felt every day, rejected by my husband and isolated from my family with no true friends. I was terrified that I would lose everything if I shared the truth that my life wasn’t perfect. But keeping up with the constant lies had my thoughts spinning out of control, and I felt anxious all the time. I was missing deadlines at work, backing out of social engagements, frequently sick, and began to gain weight – I had no peace and nowhere to turn for help.
My mother’s death was the catalyst that brought me to Linda Darin for spiritual healing therapy and grief counseling. Linda guided me through processing my grief and encouraged me to reconnect with my faith to build a personal relationship with God. She invited me to continue our work together through The Darin Method®. But unfortunately, I was so entrenched in the belief that I needed to hide any pain, suffering, or trauma that I told Linda a made-up idyllic story of my childhood. I didn’t understand that exposing the truth was necessary to heal my emotional wounds and get to the root of why I lied. Linda has a gift for reading people and knew I was hiding, but she gave me time to trust her enough to share my true story. Through my account and Linda’s intuitive counsel, we revealed the patterns and beliefs that led to lying.
I felt rejected and unloved by my mom, which pushed me into a pattern of performing and needing to succeed in everything I did, believing that failure would lead to more rejection. To feel loved and accepted, I craved the praise and confirmation of my worth that success brought. Any physical flaw or criticism made me feel deep shame and unworthiness; I learned from my family the pattern of hiding and presenting a perfect front. We never shared any struggle outside our family and hid the truth of our messy home, scrambling to clean up if someone was coming over. We identified the beginning of lying when I cheated on a test in grade school. Two of us were copying each other’s responses, and the teacher confronted us, but I was terrified to admit it. The other girl confessed, and I was allowed to retake the test and got a good grade, while she received an F. I learned I could lie and get away with it because people believed I was good.
Unbeknownst to me, I had opened the door for the spirit of lies to enter me, bonded with my shame, guilt, fear of rejection, and unworthiness. I agreed to allow them to control my thoughts and actions and continue lying for personal gain. Linda helped to deliver me from this bondage through a series of virtual energy healing and chakra balancing sessions where she channeled the healing power of the divine. Each session was powerful; I experienced jerking motions in my body as they were removed, seeing colors of violet, pink, blue, and white, and sometimes I cried. Yet, I always left with relief and peacefulness, knowing God was working through Linda to heal me.
The energy healing and chakra balancing alone were not enough to completely break the bondages. The mental clarity it created allowed me to confront and expose how the spirit of lies was working in all areas of my life, causing turmoil in my marriage, career, physical body, and addictions. First, I had to be honest with myself, Linda, and God about my lying and hiding. Next, I began a daily confession and repentance practice asking God to forgive me for how my lies hurt the people in my life and forgive myself for causing it. Linda also guided me to create a journaling habit to help identify my emotions instead of covering them up with shopping, drinking, or eating. As I followed, I was less captive to the spirit of lies, no longer in agreement, no longer permitting patterns and behaviors. The deliverance from the demon of lies was successful.
I could not do it on my own, but with Linda’s love, support, and powerful gifts of healing, we continued to break through my bondages, layer by layer. As a result of my work with Linda and her guidance, I have my finances under control as I pay down my debt, am free from alcohol, and am working through my addiction to food. In a world where the truth seems optional, I am learning to be honest, mature, and accountable for my actions. I can talk openly about my past and addictions without fear of rejection or shame. I have found the freedom to live in truth and wholeness.