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Overcoming Early Childhood Trauma and Emotional Patterns

Healing Depression and Deep Sorrow to Compassion and Forgiveness

 

In the past, I have used various self-improvement techniques like coaching, different therapies, traditional therapy, and listening to self-help podcasts. Yet, I was not feeling whole, and I needed more profound spiritual healing.

 

I was dealing with not recognizing my real anxiety issues, depression, self-hatred, abandonment, emptiness, and not feeling my emotions. I pretended everything was great, but it was all chaotic underneath my polished, well-spoken, fake self. I learned about spiritual healing through a podcast that led me to an online search in finding Linda Darin.

 

Through virtual healing sessions, I worked with Linda for over a year and processed through healing childhood wounds using chakra balancing healings, which had been positive for releasing negative emotions.

 

In using The Darin Method®, Linda asked me to tell her my birth to my age five story, and she explained this is where we would start the process of healing my soul, and uncover my patterns, beliefs, emotions, and my will.

 

I thought to myself, what could The Darin Method® process possibly do to help me? By the end of it all, I came to realize how much I didn’t know about my parents, and recognized unacknowledged grief I had felt my entire life but couldn’t identify, the self-hate, and pretending that was in my soul from the very start.

 

The Darin Method® process helped me recognize my patterns and beliefs—the deep-rooted issues that had been holding me back emotionally and spiritually from being my true self. I had never even thought about my patterns and beliefs!

 

During this healing process, I recognized how I had never wanted to reflect on myself and built walls up to keep everyone out, pointing things out about others so no one would notice how dark and damaged I was in my emotions from my early childhood. I was good at pointing out others’ issues yet couldn’t even recognize my own. I hid all my emotional pain and created a pretend world with walls so no one could see the real me.

 

I learned through processing my early childhood that I had developed a pattern of not wanting to be close to my parents, which led me to a belief they were cold and unloving. Both my parents were immigrants from Italy, and their English was limited.

 

My mother is in her eighties, and I never could express myself to her, as she only speaks Italian, whereas I grew up learning English. Due to our language barriers, I didn’t have the best relationship with her. I learned that these were the abandonment feelings I was experiencing, and I just wanted to heal on my own and not connect with her.

 

I experienced such defiance and rebellious energy towards my mother helping me in any way. I had fears of rejection when talking with my mother, and I did not want to get close to her. I did not want to forgive all the pain I had experienced growing up. Through Linda’s Intuitive Counsel, she encouraged and helped me to talk with her on a different level, which has been my most incredible healing experience.

 

Through these healing sessions, I had let go of my ego-self that I had built up with emotional patterns and beliefs since early childhood and finally talked with my mother. After our conversations, I realized how prideful I had been.

 

I didn’t realize that I was harboring such hatred towards my mother, and for no good reason. She was there with me during my birth to five years, and when I spoke with my mother, she engaged in our conversations and was happy to share details. It was a history lesson for my life that I didn’t even realize I was missing, and it changed the way I thought and believed in such a positive way.

 

I noticed a major shift in how I feel towards my mother, to where our relationship is better—now having more compassion and less hatred towards her. It’s amazing how attitudes towards people change when you let go of your preconceived notions and stay in the moment with a person.

 

Through this process I discovered things about my childhood and growing up. I learned the history of how my parents met, their struggles with money, their abandonment issues, the family drama, and how overwhelming it was to have so many children.

 

Presently, I am forty years old, so that generation of my family shared a particular survival coming from Italy. Listening to my parent’s struggles helped me understand how they had their abandonment issues, surviving in another country without knowing the language, and their unmet childhood needs of love. I saw the cycle come full circle to me in what I was feeling and where my fears, anxiety issues, and beliefs were rooted.

 

Through The Darin Method® and virtual healing sessions with Linda, I learned that I’ve had a belief that no one cared or loved me in my family, and it developed a pattern of not trusting my family members.

 

I discovered through processing my early childhood years that I had a pattern of pretending that led me to build up emotional walls and I had feelings of not belonging, which kept me distant in my relationships with no desire to get close or love my family members, especially my mother.

 

Through The Darin Method® process, I am experiencing a lightness within myself and my interaction with my mother—I’m now less critical and more caring. The relationship healing came through talking with my mother and showing her I am interested in learning about her life and childhood.

 

Prior to going through this healing process I had never taken much interest in spending time and talking with my mother or having a real relationship with her. It wasn’t until going through The Darin Method® that I realized how much I had rejected her all these years. I discovered I was part of the problem in our relationship and not just a victim of of my childhood circumstances.

 

I noticed a shift in my attitude and beliefs from victim-hood and poor me, to a more compassionate person. My mom has seen it as well. She even stopped by to visit my home, which she hasn’t in twenty years. I realized I wasn’t creating a loving space for her to get close to me, and talking with her about my early childhood story as part of The Darin Method® process, was a catalyst in healing our relationship.

 

The most profound experience was Linda assisting me through a Soul Healing of my birth to five story. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced and the most potent healing for me. My soul let me be in my delivery. Not only could I see my story, but I could also feel every emotion. As we began, I saw my mother in the hospital room as the electrical power went out. My father was alone in Italy helping family members, and my grandmother was home with my four siblings. I felt my mother’s abandonment, fear, and depression. She was terrified to be alone and wanted someone with her, but no one was there except the medical professionals. I am her last-child, yet she did not have feelings of joy during my birth. It was loneliness and fear. My soul began to fill up with compassion and love for my mother, and I felt God’s presence. It has allowed me to soften and be more kind to her, letting go and forgiving my hatred towards her.

 

As the Soul Healing continued, I felt the struggle of my unborn brother trying to survive and tremendous grief came over me with many tears. I felt an overwhelming dark feeling. My mother had a miscarriage a few months before I am born. I never considered how much trauma I experienced before I was even born. I had felt this grief my entire life yet never knew the connection. The Soul Healing allowed me to heal my trauma and made me whole. By seeing, feeling, and connecting the unacknowledged grief to the loss of my unborn brother, I was able to acknowledge and release it. God came into my heart during the Soul Healing. God knew I needed this; my soul spoke to me to feel all the sadness and grief.

 

After the Soul Healing, I felt light as a feather and a loving peace and came inside me. Peace has been something I’ve been searching for and is one of the main words on my Vision Board, which I created at the beginning of 2021. As I write this now, I realize my soul created the Vision Board. Linda Darin had led a workshop in Creating our Vision for 2021. Dealing with these emotions on a soul level through Soul Healing gave me a place to connect to myself. The Soul Healing with Linda through The Darin Method® process was a gift from God. It is transformational and life-changing!

 

I had many beliefs of being unworthy, inadequate, and sad in my life. Through Soul Healing, Linda healed aspects and fragments of my soul that had deep childhood trauma that I was unaware of. She also shared Heart Chakra tools to support my healing process, including yoga poses, heart movements, and deep breathing. These tools helped me to release the grief further. I notice my heart opening more.

 

Upon further connection with God, I realize my unborn brother made me worthy to live. My heart is warm with the love of his sacrifice, and I’m eternally grateful. I had believed that no one loved me in my family. Now I know I am loved from the very start of my beginning.

 

Linda’s Intuitive Counsel during The Darin Method® facilitated me to be honest with dealing with my emotions. Being the youngest of five children, I had a pattern to gain attention within my family. I learned this behavior when I was less than a year old. My siblings would take me out of the crib and place me on their bed and gather around me with adornment.

 

They continued to do this throughout my early childhood and would play dress-up with me as well—my belief in needing attention to feel happy and fulfilled. During the first year, an unstable sense of self and lacking was created, which gave way to self-hatred in my life. Through Linda’s self-love exercises, such as taking care of my body and expressing my emotions through journaling, I’m working on healing this need for attention and learning that I have all my needs met through God.

 

As we continued The Darin Method®, I came to realize how much alcohol was present in my first five years. My father was an alcoholic and never got the help he needed. We would have many birthday and holiday celebrations as a family. As I looked through old pictures of my childhood, alcohol was always around. I think I had previously chosen to ignore such photos, but with The Darin Method® and leaning more on God, I can recognize my darkness, overcome and heal.

 

I was about two years old in one picture, and there was an empty beer bottle in my mouth, and my siblings were all laughing. No one recall if one of us drank it or not. In another picture, I was three years old and had champagne in my hand toasting to the New Year, my four siblings as well. My sister shared with me that I was drunk and singing as entertainment that New Year’s Eve. She was nine years old and remembered it. I was singing, dancing around, and stumbling as everyone laughed. With Linda’s Intuitive Counsel and The Darin Method®, I realized this pattern of looking for attention and a pattern of addiction to alcohol.

 

I have looked at these childhood pictures before, but it wasn’t until working with Linda I realized how sick and inappropriate this was. I never knew how the darkness was around me and affected me as a child. Today, when I comment to one of my siblings, they rationalize it by saying, “we were European, and that’s what Europeans do, and it’s ok to have a little.” When I was five years old, I had asked my father to stop drinking. There was no violence at this time. I just knew drinking was wrong and wanted him to stop. How innocent children are!

 

At a young age, I was being introduced to alcohol-routed darkness within me that I’m still working through today. I wasn’t the traditional alcoholic you see on TV. Instead, I would go through periods of drinking, then stop, then take it up again, and a functioning alcoholic indeed. I used it to numb all the emotions and pain I did not want to feel, but I’m not drinking anymore and feel good. With Virtual Healing sessions, recognizing and processing my feelings, writing my feelings daily, I am more equipped not to numb out like I used to. I saw the foothold of alcohol destroy my father and my relationship with him. I’m learning to heal this relationship and remove this foothold of darkness with prayer and love from God.

 

Also, through The Darin Method®, I recognize my pattern of not trusting others because when I was five years old, I had almost drowned. I was with my family at our cousin’s pool, everyone got out of the pool, but I remained alone and fell in. One of my cousins rescued me, and I had swallowed a lot of water. When my family and my mom saw I was ok, they then left me on the couch alone. It was during this time that I felt abandoned by my entire family—I was looking for them to comfort and hug me more.

 

They were relieved I was alive, but as a child I developed a belief that I can only trust and rely on myself. This pattern and belief remains with me today. What’s different after going through The Darin Method® is that I know I can change this and it is something I’m still working on. I know with the love of God, Linda’s Intuitive Counsel, tools, prayer, and reflection that I’m on a healing journey to change this pattern and belief and open my heart to trusting others.

 

I’m already trusting in God more and building that relationship, along with my mother. It’s all thanks to God and The Darin Method® healing process with Linda. As I recognize and process childhood patterns, beliefs, and emotions, that I can choose to change this direction, and the allow God to enter my soul and heal it.

 

During my first five years as a child, I felt many dark emotions of grief, fear, abandonment, emptiness, and depression. Through The Darin Method®, I recognized the patterns and belief systems that withheld me from moving and growing into a loving self. I’m working on a new belief system of being whole, happy, and fulfilled through Jesus Christ.

 

Each morning I wake and pray to Him and ask for forgiveness for my dark emotions. I continue to work on changing my ways, and I realize this is an ongoing journey of growth. I have created time with Him to read the bible, meditate and write my emotions. I’ve also focused on self-love exercises, like looking in the mirror naked and point out what I love about my body, taking walks outside, deep breathing exercises, and ending all the negative thoughts about myself. I have realized that all these dark emotions bring dark energy into my mind, body, and soul. The chakra balancing, energy healings, and sound healings have also been beneficial in my healing journey.

 

The Darin Method® process also got me to a place of compassion and learning to forgive. My family relationships were in need of healing. I had hated my parents and family for most of my life. My hatred for them stemmed from hating myself. My ego-self and pride were the natural resistance, and I believed it should have been them if anyone should forgive. Through The Darin Method®, I realized that forgiveness was the core of learning to love and heal myself from the inside out.

 

The Darin Method from birth to five years old has allowed me to understand the patterns, beliefs, and emotions that I still carry from my early childhood and that have kept me in emotional bondage to where I am at forty years old. The most profound healing was the soul healings of all the traumas. All the other modalities have given me choices to change direction and press into God.

 

Working with Linda has opened a part of me, growing into the spirit the Lord has given me. I never imagined how much I would gain through losing hate, grief, and unworthiness. I’m growing in self-love, love for my mother, and a greater appreciation for God’s plan as it unveils itself to me on my journey.

 

Linda’s work is a catalyst moving me towards love and light. I’m grateful to experience her talents and gifts from God. Amen!