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The Trauma Of Feeling Rejection To Feeling Accepted

How The Darin Method® Taught Me That Mental Illness Does Not Interfere with High Intelligence

God was calling me back to Him in the middle of the most significant loss of my life – my mom’s death. My mom chose my former youth pastor to handle the services. At my mom’s wake, he asked me how my spiritual walk was going, and I answered honestly – it wasn’t! I had completely fallen away from the church and my relationship with God. That moment stuck with me. I didn’t realize it then, but I believe she chose him for my brothers and me as a reminder of our connection to God as teenagers.

As I struggled to process my mom’s death, my emotions became more and more out of control. My physician even prescribed an anti-depressant at my annual exam. I knew this wasn’t the solution, and I needed to find support beyond the band-aid of numbing medication. That’s when I saw Linda Darin through a google search for spiritual healing services. God was going to be at the center of my healing journey. Little did I know that healing my heartbreak and grief over my mom’s death was just the beginning.

Linda guided me through processing my emotions surrounding my mom’s passing, and I felt honored and accepted in our weekly sessions. She gave me space to cry and grieve and provided tools to move through the emotions outside of our sessions: writing my feelings daily to identify them and allowing myself to feel and express them instead of stuffing them down inside me. I focused on holistic healing methods with color therapy, breathwork, and yoga to heal my heart chakra. Linda also provided energy healing with the assistance of God’s healing power. In our chakra healing sessions, she cleared the negative emotions attached to evil spirits such as fear, anger, betrayal, and grief, with sound healing and the power of the violet flame flowing through all the cells of my body. I felt clearer and calmer after each healing, able to sleep soundly in peace. As I became more grounded, I began intuitive counseling to unpack my life and understand why I had difficulty processing her death.

Linda encouraged me to bring back into my life the things that brought me joy as a child – going to church and connecting with God was the first piece I added. I lived in isolation, in a toxic marriage, and my church community became my support system, living far from my family.

I was blind to the fact that I was married to a man suffering from addiction to alcohol, was depressive, and inflicting emotional abuse. I was so enmeshed with him and codependent I couldn’t see how unhealthy our relationship was. It was not easy to decide to leave, as I broke a long-held belief that divorce was wrong. Linda supported me by finding a lawyer, reaching out to my family and friends to help packing, moving, and finding a temporary place to stay. God had set everything and everyone in place to assist me in my escape.

My ex-husband tried to stop me from leaving by throwing black magic onto me. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but my demeanor and voice-enabled Linda to see that something was wrong in our session. I acted like nothing was wrong, and there was no urgency to get out of my marriage. Linda was able to break through the fog in my brain and pull the curse from me.   He attacked me again when we were filing the divorce papers. This time I could recognize that my thoughts were under the influence of something evil when I began to question if I should get divorced and maybe go back to my husband! I recognized symptoms of the black magic that I was experiencing; confusion, not feeling like the true me, negative thought patterns, not knowing which way to turn, insomnia, and diarrhea. I was suffering and had no idea that people hire to throw these evil energies on others. It was so shocking that my husband would even consider this and that people hurt others for a paid fee.

Within a month of separating from my husband, my job ended due to a lack of work. This loss brought feelings of Rejection, abandonment, and betrayal from other job losses. I worked for sixteen years in my previous job, when the company dramatically downsized. Both positions ended due to circumstances outside of my control, but I took it as a personal rejection. I was a workaholic; I’d put everything into my job, sacrificing my health and my relationships for approval and praise at work. I felt abandoned by the people and companies who let me go. Who was I without a job? My identity was my work. I was lost! Linda guided me through this crisis, focusing on daily tasks to keep moving forward with my divorce, finding a new job, and meeting with a financial coach to get on a strict budget and not go further into debt.

After a year of working from home during the pandemic, the company I worked for permanently closed. I was out of work again through no fault of my own, but the feelings of Rejection and abandonment resurfaced. Linda encouraged me to take an inventory of my work history, look for behavior patterns, and understand my attachment to jobs that were either underpaying me or abusing me with expectations of long hours. I understood the need to separate my identity from my work and treat interviews as practice instead of a life-or-death situation. It helped me begin to show up calm and confident, not panicked and desperate. I took time to find the proper role for me at this point in my life, not jumping at the first opportunity just because they wanted me. Without Linda’s insight and intuitive counsel, I would have ended up in another abusive work environment. I am so grateful that we could continue our work together virtually through one-on-one sessions and energy healing online.

Once the crises of my mom’s death, my divorce, and multiple job losses were behind me, we began the Darin Method ® in earnest to find the roots of my abandonment, Rejection, and codependency at work and in my relationships. As I told my story from birth to five, Linda could see the patterns and beliefs that shaped my reactions to challenges in my life, both real and perceived. Going further into ages six to ten, I was not aware I was suffering from childhood trauma or surrounded by mental illness in my family until Linda helped me understand my story. The patterns we uncovered and that I continue to act out in my life today were symptoms of the root trauma of being rejected by my mom. She was suffering from depression and did not seek treatment, so she could not love me and connect with me in the way I needed to flourish. I do not blame her, but I can see how to change my life and my new direction.

The Darin Method ®

Pattern – feeling inadequate; something is wrong with me

Belief – I need to hide my inadequacy behind a mask of perfection to be loved and cared for

Emotions – shame, self-hatred

I blamed the lack of love from my mom on some defect inside me. I felt deep shame whenever corrected as if something was “wrong” with me. I remember having difficulty hearing in class and my mom coming into school for a hearing test. They discovered that ear wax buildup was the culprit, and I could hear. I was so embarrassed and ashamed by this experience. I felt dirty. When I needed glasses for astigmatism in my eye in second grade, I was so excited during the process of selecting and fitting my glasses. But when it came time to wear them in class, I was too embarrassed to do it. The school called my parents and let them know. I cried on my dad’s lap for being different. I just wanted to fit in with everyone else around me.

I carried this need to hide behind a mask of perfectionism in my adult life in work and friendships. I was constantly comparing myself and my life to everyone else’s. I was so lost and empty inside I needed to look at them to see what I needed. Instead of helping me look better and be more liked, as I believed it would, it pushed people away from me. They could feel the self-hate driving me to hide. We think our masks hide us so well, but they are easily perceived and show inauthenticity, untruths, and unworthiness. Linda helped me create a habit of repenting to God every day, exposing the darkest parts, asking for forgiveness, and deciding to change. This practice allowed me to accept both the good and dark inside me and not feel ashamed. I’m not perfect, and I can love myself anyway, and let God fill me with his love.

The Darin Method ®

Pattern – lying and hiding

Belief – If I can lie and not get caught, it’s OK.

Emotions – fear, shame, guilt

When I cheated on a test in grade school, I let someone else get punished. The two of us copied off each other, and when the teacher confronted us, I was too scared to speak. The other student confessed to copying my answers, so I kept silent. The teacher punished her but let me retake the test! I learned I could get away with lying. I would lie as an adult when I felt ashamed of my actions or wanted to avoid repercussions but trying to avoid consequences made me feel guilty and ashamed. Working with Linda was the first time I experienced total acceptance, precisely as I am. She never condemns me for my actions; she points out my sin, shines the light, and provides a sounding board to evaluate my actions against the Truth of the bible. I don’t need to lie or hide when I am with Linda, and this transparency and authenticity have flowed into my daily life.

The Darin Method ®

Pattern – Competing and performing; striving to be the best

Belief – I need to achieve and get praise to feel loved and accepted.

Emotions – fear of Rejection, jealousy, pride

I didn’t get attention at home unless I was achieving. I realized early on that I could win at just about anything in school, activities, or sports, and I got lots of praise from all the adults. I desperately wanted this praise which felt like love, and my mom pushed me to join lots of activities. Competing in 4-H sewing, soccer, art, music, and school became my focus. And again, most girls did not like me because of my competitiveness. My two brothers and I are intelligent, brilliant people in varied careers (fashion designer, chemist, international diplomat, and data analyst, respectively), but we all suffer from childhood trauma. We suffer from anxiety, depression, and difficulty connecting and communicating with others.

I still struggle with the desire to compete and win, but the awareness of how it impacts my relationships makes me want to continue changing this pattern.

One of Linda’s most impactful healing services in the Darin Method ® was the soul work counseling sessions and intuitive healing services. She used her spiritual gifts to guide me through the many patterns and beliefs mentioned above to pull out the broken fragments of my soul and piece them back together with the love and light of God. I felt the healing as tears streamed down my face as we moved through each pattern and belief and released the emotional bondage. I saw healing lights and colors, felt heat and cold, and saw visions of God’s hand on me. It was a profound journey, making me feel whole and grounded!

Linda allowed me to connect with other people on my healing journey in Women’s Groups and The Experiencing God Workshop, which profoundly impacted my healing progress.   The Women’s Group meets once a month and provides an incredible platform to work with the Darin Method®. Seeing mirrors of my patterns and weaknesses in other members showed me how it felt to be on the other side of these behaviors and understanding the hurt I’ve caused the people in my life by acting this way. I was encouraged by the growth in others and strengthened by the feedback I received from the group, both positive and negative.

The Experiencing God Workshop meets every Saturday morning. It has helped me understand the importance of my relationship with God for my healing. I am gaining soul prosperity which is the health of my mind, body, and soul. Being involved in a church or religion does not negate the need for healing therapy for soul prosperity. I’ve witnessed highly gifted pastors and singers suffering, too. Carl Lenz preached in a megachurch, openly shared he was in treatment for mental illness, but still allowed the demon of lust to take him over and lose his position. Tasha Cobb recently shared her struggle with depression, even though she has performed worldwide on massive stages singing God’s praises.

I have learned that being granted gifts or intelligence does not free us from suffering and struggles. The devil seems to come after those gifted even stronger! I know I must be responsible, mature, and accountable to God, our community, and myself to be honest and truthful about what is in my heart, mind, and soul.

Linda holds a loving space for each to speak our Truth without judgment, whether in individual or group sessions. The Truth of my story set me free to know how and why I acted the way I did and chose to change. Her healing work is in partnership with God, and God is Truth.

I highly recommend Linda Darin as a spiritual guide, mentor, and healthcare professional. She has changed my life by opening my eyes to see the Truth!

3 John:2-4 – I pray that you enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the Truth and how you continue to walk in the Truth.