For 30 Years, I Lived in Torment, Not Wanting to Grieve
For 30 Years, I Lived in Torment, Not Wanting to Grieve
How Linda’s Soul Healing Techniques Helped Me Grieve
For over 30 years, I stayed stuck emotionally, spiritually, and physically. In doing so, I lived in torment, not wanting to grieve and blocking it out. It wasn’t until I met Linda Darin, an Energy Medicine Healer, that I learned what grief was and how to process it.
What is grief? It is a process of letting go of what once was, feeling intense pain and many dark emotions. When we grieve, we allow our emotions to flow. There are different stages of grief: shock, in which you may feel numb and disconnected, a denial which is a normal part of grieving, bargaining is when you may want to go back to your old way of life, depression feeling deep sorrow and pain, and acceptance of what is. We all experience grief; however, grief looks different for everyone, and how long a person grieves varies from person to person. I learned about this when I met Linda.
Healthy grieving involves processing what you feel each day as long as it takes, shifting back and forth from the different stages. You go from death to rebirth and begin to transform and embrace change, gradually accepting what it is and healing. Grief is experiencing loss, change, and absence. As I started healing grief with Linda Darin, I learned to block out suffering at a very young age and began feeling emotionally and physically sick.
When I was 11, my family moved from the city to a quiet suburban town in Westchester. As I reflect, my family fell apart. My brother got in with the wrong crowd and became addicted to marijuana, later developing schizophrenia. Mother coped with routine visits to the hospital because of physical ailments. My Father is a workaholic, and I was not grieving the absence of love.
Following the move, I was shocked, isolating myself and bargaining by taking the bus and visiting old friends, not wanting to give up my old life. I felt like my lifeline got cut out from under me. I didn’t know how to cope with my shattered support system, so I blocked out my feelings.
Through The Darin Method®, I learned I developed a wound of abandonment and rejection from the move. I was unaware that my patterns of not releasing my dark emotions of sadness, loneliness, and betrayal were attracting negative entities that permitted them to operate in my life and control my thoughts and behavior. Through Linda’s intuitive counsel, I learned I took in the spirit of grief, which opened the door to my inauthenticity, leading me to hide and pretend.
Not knowing how to move through the pain of my grief, I lost self-confidence and began having difficulty connecting with others. As a result, I developed a pattern of surrounding myself with unhealthy people and becoming codependent to help me cope, which continued into adulthood. I had no idea that not moving through my grief and stuffing my emotions at this point would set the stage for how I approached grief later in my life and have a cascading effect.
When I was 25, experiencing the murder of my brother, I was shocked and felt this big empty void as if I had lost a piece of myself. I couldn’t handle going to a crime victim’s support group with my parents; talking about loved ones murdered retraumatized me. I shut down my emotions and didn’t seek further help; I wanted it to end. I was mad at God for taking my brother and leaving me with a family I couldn’t love. I began to hate because I didn’t have faith.
I was brokenhearted and felt helpless, hopeless, and bitter without relying on God. I hid my grief which made me anxious. I began to isolate myself, not knowing how to connect and relying on alcohol when out with friends to help loosen me up and numb my pain. I met my husband the following year at a nightclub, and we married several years later. I kept secrets from him about my brother’s mental illness and never shared much about my brother’s death, as it was too painful.
My default emotion became anger after my brother’s death, masking how I felt. Repressing my feelings caused them to feel stronger. My anger became destructive as I vented and lashed at my husband, family, and friends. I was embarrassed at times and ashamed when I lost control of my anger. I came into spiritual bondage to fear, shame, hiding, bitterness, and loneliness, which was the root of my emotional problems and my outbursts of anger and rage.
When I was 40, I went into early menopause following a hysterectomy. The significant change in my hormones and the loss of my passion left me feeling anxious, depressed, and inadequate as a woman. I never dealt with my shame, embarrassment, and insecurity. I became more disconnected from my husband, losing motivation and joy in doing things together we once did and not wanting to be loved or touched.
My inability to cope with any loss or change and not processing my emotions throughout my marriage caused me to take in more dark spirits over the years. The more spirits I took in, the more chaotic and crazier I behaved, which left me suicidal and hospitalized. I became physically ill with insomnia and chronic headaches and became addicted to alcohol as my anxiety and depression worsened. My marriage was a gradual death, and I ended up getting a divorce.
Thankfully I began to work with Linda to heal grief. Her compassion for her work and extensive knowledge gave me a sense of security, and I felt comfortable talking to her. When I first met her, I had no idea how I felt, so she gave me a list of feelings and encouraged me to journal them daily to identify them. Linda opened the channels for me to reconnect with God by inviting me to church, prayer groups, and bible study.
Through the Darin Method® and Linda’s intuitive counsel, I learned I had undergone many losses and changes I never processed. She began to assist me in each loss, change, and absence as they came up. There were times I felt very overwhelmed because I was going through the process of several challenges at the same time. But, receiving intuitive counseling and Linda’s holistic therapy services, I could persevere, stay on course and push through it without going crazy or turning to alcohol.
All my emotions erupted as I began grieving years of loss, change, and absence. I was often furious and lonely; sometimes, I closed off and isolated. I could see that loss made me want to hate and feel insecure. Sometimes I projected my anger and acted jealous, and sometimes I acted like a victim and wanted people to feel sorry for me.
I continued processing what I felt with Linda during our distance healing sessions. After each session, I would receive a chakra balance and energy healing to cleanse off all the dark energy from my mind, heart, and soul. The more I processed my dark emotions with Linda, and the more cleansings I received, the power of God began to break down the strongholds and bondages to lying, hatred, anxiety, and depression. I also took authority by confessing and repenting for my dark emotions. As a result, I began to have more clarity, get humble, and be open to accepting my DNA to mental health issues. Speaking the truth to many family members allowed me to forgive and not feel shame. That set me free!
I’m learning to be patient with myself and self-care. I can stay alone with my feelings and journal. I can share during counseling sessions or connect with friends. I allow myself to cry instead of holding back my tears. I make sure to eat well and rest when I feel tired. I’m weeding out unhealthy people and spending quiet time in prayer, reading the bible, and going to church. I can sing and dance while listening to music and make time to do art.
When I didn’t process my grief, I lost confidence and faith, had insomnia, and no motivation, went into isolation, began to hate, lost control, drank alcohol, and lived a chaotic life. Not grieving compounded the problem each time I went through a further loss, absence, or change in my life.
Intuitive counseling, the deliverance of dark spirits, self-care, and spending time with God has helped me move through my grief and heal on a soul level. As a result, I have more hope, faith, and a calmer mind by bringing the dark to the light. In addition, I have a better connection with God, who brings me joy and an inner sense of peace.
I’m learning to accept loss, absence, and change. I take one day at a time, allowing my feelings to flow. I’m no longer disconnecting, mingling with the wrong crowd, or drinking to numb out. I’m in a much better place mentally, physically, and spiritually.
I can see how far I’ve grown since I stepped into Linda’s office six years ago. As my soul prospers, I gain inner strength and confidence. I have hope and boldness to speak the truth now and have moved beyond acting like a victim wanting people to feel sorry for me. Instead, I can feel but not allow my feelings to control me. I can look at lessons learned without regret. I can look at old photos and talk about memories of the past. I can connect with others and embrace God’s love for me.
I’m so grateful for having the opportunity to work with Linda Darin and The Darin Method® for God using her as a vessel to help me learn to grieve and heal my soul. Thank you, God; thank you, Linda!