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Born Into Mental Illness to Finding My Inner Light

Born Into Mental Illness Allowed Me To Find My Inner Light!

The Darin Method ® Birth to Five Years Old

I chose to work with Linda because I had tried traditional therapy, but that didn’t help lessen my anxiety. I was looking for a more holistic approach that would get to the core of the problem and find a solution for me to overcome my anxiety. Fear has controlled me!

When I first met Linda, I blamed everyone else for why I felt so miserable. I wanted to know how I could change everyone else’s behavior to adapt to my needs. I never stopped to think how I played a role in all the chaos in my life until Linda posed the question to me.

Who would have thought that the beliefs programmed in my mind as a young child would still drive how I feel and act today? By exploring my story from birth to five and using The Darin Method®, I soon learned that I’ve been playing out most of my childhood patterns till this day at 56 years old.

Working through the healing sessions with The Darin Method® helped uncover childhood patterns, misguided beliefs that no longer served me, and the dark emotions attached to those beliefs. I began to change my mindset with new thoughts and let go of emotions held in bondage and develop healing on a soul level.

Linda provides holistic healing tools, intuitive counseling, and healing modalities such as chakra balancing, sound healing and energy healings, guided imagery, and profound soul healings to assist with the healing process.

One of the tools Linda has encouraged me to use is journaling my emotions to process the issues I experienced. She provided me with a list of emotions and asked me to keep a daily journal. I initially had trouble with this because I didn’t know how to process or connect to what I was feeling.

During our virtual healing sessions, Linda began to assist me with processing many of my emotions, such as shame, hatred, jealousy, abandonment, fear that I had blocked over the years. I learned that by not feeling or acknowledging my emotions, I couldn’t face or deal with reality. I disconnect from myself, and therefore it is hard for me to connect in intimacy with others.

Through The Darin Method® I learned that from my early childhood I developed a pattern of disconnecting from my emotions and putting up walls to protect myself, with the belief that I needed to disconnect to feel safe.

Through a soul healing session, I discovered that I internalized other people’s emotions as my own, which caused me to feel drained and overwhelmed and wanting to shut down and disconnect. I cried quickly due to my sensitivity. I was often dismissed by my father and shamed by my mother. I never learned how to express or process, which left me feeling lost, confused, and unsure.

I learned earlier this year during the pandemic how not writing out my emotions and checking in with how I was feeling caused me to fall into a depression. At my job I work with sick children. Due to all the restrictions, many of the children were placed in isolation and could not see their family members.

My father and stepmother, who lived in assisted living, began declining in health and were negatively affected by isolation and lack of visitation. I began absorbing a lot of negative energy and became tired and weary. I stopped praying, worshiping, and reading my Bible, which helped me in the past.

Because of not processing my emotions I began to isolate myself and lose touch with the reality that I was sinking into the stronghold of depression. I felt as if I was in the spiritual warfare of darkness, trying to take over my mind. Receiving energy healings, chakra balancing, and sound healing every Tuesday evening virtually released this heaviness and helped me get back on track.

During one of our virtual healing sessions, Linda reminded me to have the presence of God back in my life. By ignoring how I was feeling, I allowed negative entities to attach to my thought forms and affect my mood and behavior.

By visiting my childhood, I learned jealousy from my father’s mother and sister because I was the only granddaughter in the family. My grandfather, looking forward to his first granddaughter, died a few months before I was born. My father’s family was cold and distant and often ignored me. My grandmother called me by the wrong name and played favoritism with my cousins. I never have an emotional connection to that side of the family, which made me feel rejected and unworthy, leading me to believe I never belonged.

Working through the healing sessions with The Darin Method® I discovered how I received mixed messages from my parents. Although my parents told me they loved me, they weren’t nurturing or affectionate. Not feeling loved led me to believe I was unlovable.

My mother often compared me to others and judged me harshly. I never received the emotional bonding I needed. I began comparing myself and looking to others to model because I believed I wasn’t good enough. I began to hate myself because I didn’t feel loved or accepted.

Many jealous women surrounded me, and there was a lot of competitiveness among the women in my family. I felt everyone’s hatred towards one another, which made me feel like I didn’t fit in even more. Jealousy is a stronghold that led to rejection, unworthiness, incompetency, and not fitting in.

As I got older, I often had difficulty expressing my love to others, mirroring my parent’s behavior. I frequently gossiped with friends and coworkers and compared myself to others by either worrying about what everyone else was or wasn’t doing or what they had vs. what I didn’t have.

I was surrounded by jealous and miserable people most of my life as they were mirrors of what lived inside of me. The more I compared myself to others, the more I hated myself. Associating with negative people only fueled my misery and made me more critical of others.

Through healing sessions with Linda’s spiritual guidance and mentorship, I began to let go of negative people in my life. I have a smaller circle of friends, and I am mindful of gossip, which has given me more inner peace.

I’ve learned to be more grateful for what I have rather than what I don’t have. Keeping a gratitude journal has been shifting my mindset from lacking to being blessed. Reciting scripture out loud has helped to affirm I am enough and aiding in the release of rejection. I’m still working on using self-love tools which haven’t been easy for me to release my self-hate.

Through healing sessions with The Darin Method® I also discovered I became a people pleaser, not speaking my truth and looking for validation and acceptance as a survival skill. I didn’t feel safe, loved, and couldn’t trust others, which caused me anxiety and depression most of my life.

I learned to please my mother and fake conformity by submitting what she wanted me to do, say, or look, which was attached to not feeling good enough and relying on others to fill me up.

When I got older, I didn’t know how to be myself because I was too busy trying to conform. Hiding from my brokenness and not being authentic made me feel lonely. How can anyone else like me if I don’t like me?

Through processing these emotions I realized that I was afraid to speak up and voice my inner truth for not wanting to rock the boat. I learned it was easier for me to focus on others than on myself. Busyness helped me avoid dealing with my fear of unworthiness and abandonment. Taking care of others eased my anxieties. My darkness to lying and pretending was a foothold, and I couldn’t hide anymore.

Through virtual counseling sessions, Linda helped me see that, clearly, I didn’t have my own life because I was always doing for everyone else. I put others’ needs before my own, which caused me resentment when I didn’t feel appreciated. I needed balance in my life.

By journaling my emotions I learned to process my issues. I started setting boundaries and focusing more on meeting my own needs. I’m spending less time doing for others and carving out some time for myself. My life is becoming more balanced.

Breathing exercises, yoga, walking outside in nature have been helping to release some of the trapped emotions of unworthiness from my body. I have a voice now and speak my truth. Through spiritual guidance, Linda reminds me to worship God, pray and repent for my sins to help break my stronghold to lying and pretending.

Taking the free Experiencing God teaching course Linda offers is allowing me to have an intimate relationship with Him. My soul is beginning to feel alive, and I have more energy.

Through applying the healing process with The Darin Method® I’ve discovered that I put my self-worth in other people’s opinions and how they treated me. I believed love was conditional.

By visiting my early childhood years, I learned how little tolerance my mother had for making mistakes and being less than perfect. I received little empathy or compassion, which made me feel incompetent and unsure of myself. I learned to control and overcompensate for fear of making a mistake and being shamed.

With Linda’s spiritual guidance and mentorship, she reminds me to rely on God and surrender my control. It has been a challenge due to my stronghold of perfectionism. I’m beginning to accept myself as flawed like everyone else. The more I accept myself for who I am, the easier it is for me to be honest.

Through chakra balancing energy healing and sound healing sessions, Linda is helping me break the cords and attachments to rejection and not being good enough. I always feel lighter, have more clarity, and can focus in a new way.

Also, working with the healing process of The Darin Method® I learned that I had a pattern of not regulating my emotions which often caused me to feel powerless, helpless, hopeless, like a victim. I had no voice and needed validation from others, which made me feel frustrated and angry. I didn’t know how to confront people as I got older, which caused anxiety, and I would go into victimhood, causing me to feel and act crazy and looking for someone to help me.

During virtual healing sessions and being part of Linda’s women’s group, she assisted me with learning how to confront others and deal with situations as they came up. Learning how to engage others and receive constructive criticism has helped me to let go of a lot of shame and fear, which is the root of my anxiety.

I always had a rocky relationship with my mother. She often interrupted me when I spoke, not allowing me to finish speaking, which would throw off my train of thought. Her behavior would cause me to overreact. I would try and compete with her to get her to listen to me. Conversations with her always left me feeling frustrated and angry, and I built up a lot of resentment and bitterness.

I mirrored my mother’s behavior by often talking and not listen, although I didn’t want to admit this. Through Linda’s spiritual guidance and mentorship, she was able to show me how much anger and hatred I had towards my mother and how prideful I had become. I had built up so much bitterness and unforgiveness over the years it hardened my heart. How could I try to establish a relationship with God if I’m holding onto so much hatred? How could I possibly love?

Each morning, I ask God to forgive me for my deep hatred and help clean my heart and forgive and bless my mother as part of my morning prayer. By surrendering, my attitude is shifting, and I am patient and understanding with my mother. I’m conscious of how I speak to her now. My relationship has been improving because I am listening more and talking less. My anger towards her is slowly subsiding. In the process of forgiving, I’m letting go of pride and anger. I have to continue to press in and repent for my sins to help loosen and release my bondage and stronghold to hatred.

Linda recently assisted me through a powerful soul healing that allowed me to witness my childhood differently. I was able to feel the hatred of so much jealousy that surrounded me that I absorbed it as my own.

I felt so lost and confused, not knowing who I was, which made me feel insecure and unsure. I bit my nails while playing in the crib to cope. I saw how traumatized I was at such a young age of feeling rejected by my father’s family and constantly shamed by my mother.

The root of bitterness took hold at such a young age, and the source of my resentment spread as I held in emotions rather than expressing them and letting them go. Not receiving love from my parents was an illusion.

Although I didn’t feel the love I sought from my parents, they showed me love in the way they knew how. I visualized tender moments with my family, such as baking Christmas cookies with my mother, holding hands with my father, and sleeping with my brother as he sang me to sleep.

I could feel how free I felt when I was outside with my friends in the playground and how safe I felt when I felt no judgment while being creative in my bedroom. Despite all my brokenness from my early childhood, I had friends and creativity.

As I went through the soul healing and processed my emotions, I felt the healing of God’s presence by being released of sadness and had a sense of compassion towards my parents, especially my mother. As I let go of my anger and pain, I could feel a heaviness lift out of my heart and a sense of peace.

I discovered how the root of bitterness and unforgiveness had a generational effect, which kept my family in bondage, and how the patterns were passed down and repeated from generation to generation. I understood more clearly how bitterness and unforgiveness played a part in the mental illness and addictions of my family bloodline. This understanding brought me a great sense of relief and allowed my resentment towards my family to disappear.

By going through the emotional healing sessions with The Darin Method® from birth to five and processing my early childhood, I have an awareness of how my foundation was so weak and how patterns of jealousy, lying, disconnection, and victim hood set in.

God has been showing me through this healing process that I am both dark and light, and by exposing the dark, he is preventing my negative emotions from gaining a stronghold over my life.

As I learn more about the Lord with Linda’s spiritual mentoring and guidance, I’m trusting him more and choosing to heal with his assistance. As I work with Linda, I allow God to use her to assist me in the healing of my childhood traumas on a soul level, one fragment at a time. I’m so grateful for all her gifts and her assistance to keep bringing me to the light. Thank you, Linda Darin!