A Broken Childhood Foundation To Believing and Trusting In God
The Darin Method ® Birth to Five Years Old
I was referred to Linda Darin by a co-worker in 2015 in the wake of my brother’s death. While he was alive, my brother was an addict, as are many other family members. I chose to criticize these members for most of my life and never saw my role in all the chaos and drama. I was content with blaming everyone else and not being accountable and responsible for my actions and behaviors.
Coming from a social work background, meeting with Linda was unlike anything I was accustomed to or expecting. She is intuitive, authentic, and connected with God purely and honestly. She is holistically working on the mind, body, and spirit I needed for my soul.
Through Linda’s Intuitive Counsel, she helped me process and release the intense emotions of sadness, guilt, resentment, and shame I was experiencing from the loss of my brother. Through Chakra Balancing, Energy Healing and Color, Light and Sound Healing, I cut my brother’s emotional and spiritual cords. Through these profound healing sessions, I lived independently from the attached energies that still existed within me.
I chose to stay with Linda past the Grief Counseling to focus on my Soul Work because I knew that I would continue to repeat unhealthy and detrimental patterns to my self-growth if I did not. I had moments of doubting myself and thoughts of ‘this is too hard’, resulting in me wanting to run away.
However, watching God work through Linda during our virtual healing sessions to guide me back every time by providing a safe and loving environment where I could be emotionally vulnerable allowed me to push through the challenging moments and see the true gift in her work.
During healing sessions, I felt listened to and heard. When we would finish sessions with Spiritual Healing to release all the dark emotions weighing me down- whether it be fear, shame, guilt, jealously, or pride, I would leave feeling lighter, calmer, and peaceful.
While working together virtually, we began The Darin Method® by telling my birth story to five years old. We identified the patterns and beliefs that continued to surface in my adult years.
My story begins with my parents, who met in High School. My mother came from an incredibly enmeshed Italian family, and my father came from a distant German / Irish family that did not live close to each other. Their life was chaotic, as my maternal uncle was deep into his heroin abuse at the time, and my maternal grandmother was drinking heavily as well. After dating for about two years, they got engaged and married.
My mother had my brother at twenty-three and then had me at twenty-six years old. My mom stayed at home with us, and my father was working for a company in another state. Father was on the road during the week and only home on the weekends, leaving my mother home alone with two children without much support from her family due to their addiction issues.
When I was a baby, my brother, mother, and I were very sick with fevers due to the water quality in town and hospitalized at six months. My mother had strep throat three times, and it was the least she saw my father out of all the years they have been married. She refers to it as the worst year and a half of her life because she was sick, alone, and taking care of two children.
With my father away and my mother emotionally unavailable, I felt abandoned by both my parents. I developed the belief that my brother was the only one that could take care of me, and it led to patterns of me relying on him for everything.
I began the pattern of following my brother and continued to track people throughout my whole life- whether it was a co-worker, friend, cousin—I was a follower. The Darin Method® allowed me to see this pattern in my life and how much it was rooted in the emotions of fear, self-doubt, and emptiness from my early childhood.
Through Chakra Balancing, Linda helped me move out the feelings of fear that kept me in bondage. Linda also introduced me to self-love tools, and I started to care about myself in a new way. I developed self-care rituals by finding pleasures with my five senses, taking care of my physical and mental health, and acknowledging that everyone has light and dark emotions.
In an addiction family, no one expresses feelings. I was able to start building a foundation of self-reliance. I also began praying at night to God for guidance. Although I still struggle with staying in my power, I have the awareness to redirect myself out of fear and into the light.
The fear of being abandoned also mixed in with anger for my parents not meeting my needs stayed with me throughout my adulthood. I believed that I was on my own, which developed into a pattern of not trusting people.
My mistrust in people led to a victim mentality that I would often default to when things were not going the way I wanted them to as an adult. I learned that victims get attention, and I wanted attention from people. For me, this was rooted in anger, fear, confusion, and jealousy that other people have it easier than I do.
Through Linda’s Intuitive Counsel, I have learned that I am never truly alone as long as God is in my life. It is in God that I feel complete and filled up and stops me from looking to others to fill me up. My relationship with God developed with Linda’s encouragement and openness.
As a child, I grew up Catholic and did not find the church to be a comforting place. Instead, I associated God with religion and all the rules and expectations that come with structured religion. Linda helped me see that I can determine my walk and relationship with God, which has allowed me to create a connection that I dismissed for many years of my life.
When I was two years old, we moved into the house I grew up in. That same year, my brother started school, and I remember my mother crying hysterically when he left. Watching my mother’s emotional attachment to my brother fostered my belief that change of any kind was chaotic, terrifying, and dark.
In my soul work healing sessions through The Darin Method®, I discovered that needing to feel sameness and consistency develops and allows me to feel safe and secure. These patterns continued with me throughout my life as they are rooted in fear.
Although I still struggle to venture out of my comfort zone, I have the awareness that helps me be accountable and responsible to move forward with my life. In working with Linda through Chakra balancing, Energy Healings, and Color-Light-Sound healings, I continue to release the fear that keeps me small.
When I was three years old, my mother and her siblings had an intervention for my grandmother’s drinking, as it had become out of control. The intervention was met by my grandfather’s anger, rage, and aggressiveness, as he was in a deep state of denial about my grandmother’s drinking problem.
As a child growing up, there were many addicts in my family including my uncle, aunt, grandmother, father, and eventually, my brother. Any mention of help or interventions with denial, anger, and blame added to my chaos and confusion.
I found that I had developed the belief that I could not trust myself and, through The Darin Method®, I understood where my pattern of not having a voice, not being able to be truthful, and learning to lie/pretend manifested. These patterns from my early childhood were rooted in fear, confusion, anger, and shame.
Through The Darin Method®, I also discovered a pattern of intermittent, explosive rage that began when I was about three years old, and I have played out through my adult years.
Through Linda’s Intuitive Counsel, I came to realize my mother had children to fill up the emptiness she felt inside of her. My moodiness, anger, and rage resulted from my belief that I had to sacrifice myself to make my mother happy. I began a pattern of lying and pretending to meet my mothers’ needs.
Even today from these early childhood emotional issues, I continue to have difficulty with my mother because I can never show up as I am. This behavior has translated into other relationships in my adult life as well.
I find it challenging to be authentic because I am afraid other people won’t like me or keep other people happy at my own expense. I often referred to myself as a chameleon, as I could figure out who I needed to be and what I needed to say. I was a performer. What if I am happy and other people are not—how would they like me?
This belief created the pattern of perfectionism—the self I show to the world to be accepted. I could see that my perfectionism had me bonded in fear, rejection, and anxiety manifested by checking things off my list, not disappointing others, and how inauthentic I presented myself to the world.
This perfectionism also created a great deal of jealousy for me. I would often compare my life to other people’s lives and think to myself, “why do they have it so easy?” or “how come my life is so hard?”.
I would be jealous of how other people seemingly coasted through their lives. Through Linda’s counsel, I realized that the consequences of my jealousy were fear, competitiveness, anger, and an overall lack of peace. I did not know how to identify my emotions, let alone healthily cope with them.
Linda taught me about what jealousy really is and healthy ways to release it. Acknowledging my jealousy, thanking God for what he is doing in that person’s life, and refocusing my attention on what God is doing in my life has been monumental with handling emotional issues of jealousy when it comes up for me.
Additionally, Linda has helped me learn to identify my emotions by journaling daily and releasing them by repenting. These tools have brought me to a place where I can accurately identify my true feelings and healthily cope with them—being able to repent and have an intimate relationship with God has brought peace and a lightness to my soul through daily prayer. I no longer explode with rage as I learned when I was a child and can manage my anger through working with the online healing sessions through The Darin Method®.
At four years old, my mother tried to send me to preschool at the local Catholic school. I was baptized Catholic when I was a baby, and my family went through the motions of being Catholic, but there was no spiritual walk with God.
I did not know anyone outside my family, and starting somewhere on my own induced so much fear that I cried so badly that they called my mom to get me. The principal said I was ‘inconsolable’ and my mother then kept me home an extra year.
In working with Linda through The Darin Method® online healing sessions, I can see the tribe mentality my family had when I was younger. There were no people outside the family that I had contact with. I did not attend any daycares or have any babysitters that were not related to me.
There were also so many secrets within my family about alcohol and drug abuse that I learned to hide and pretend. The shame and guilt instilled in me drove me to believe I could not trust anyone outside my family, and, therefore, I learned to keep my mouth shut and lie.
I am learning to repent and look at myself as I truly am—made of both light and dark, and accept all aspects of myself. In practicing the tools in self-love, I started to develop a care for myself that never existed before. There was an emptiness to me that I filled with other people’s attention and adoration. I have learned to fill these holes with self-love, acceptance, and God’s presence in working with Linda.
I went back to preschool at five years old. There was lots of crying from both my mother and me. Every day, my mom said I would leave with all my belongings from my cubby, stating I was not going back. School got easier as the year went on, and I ended up meeting my best friend there, who I am still friends with today. I became more social but still had that tribe mentality, and relating to people was difficult.
As I was led through a healing session with guided imagery by Linda, it transformed into a powerful Soul Healing with the presence of God for my first five years of life. I genuinely feel as if I were back in that time and see things more transparent than I ever had before.
It allowed me to see the hardships my mother was going through and allowed me to feel compassion and love for her. It helped me see how important a spiritual connection is to have in those very young years and how, as a child, you can feel lost and alone without it. It also allowed me to witness what I need to provide for my own daughter, who will be coming into the world in September 2021.
The Soul Healing session also helped clarify the origins of some beliefs I blamed on other people. It showed me that, although my brother was doing what he thought was best in looking after me, it fostered my belief that I was unable to take care of myself, leading to patterns of never dealing with issues head-on and burying my head in the sand to issues going on around me.
I chose to continue this pattern from my childhood throughout my life by disconnecting from myself when situations become too overwhelming for me. The reliance on my brother was so firm that when he developed his addictions in adulthood, it shattered my world.
Through Energy Healing sessions with Linda, I released the anger I had towards my mother. I have compassion for her situation and emotional limitations. It was healing with God working through Linda. Even though I still struggle with trusting others and myself as an adult, since now discovering how to process my childhood emotions, I am learning to take my walls down and allow people to see the real, authentic me.
Forgiveness played an influential role in working through my healing sessions with The Darin Method®. The book Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody by Allen Hunt states, “Rather than stepping out to healing, we often prefer to sit and feed off our wounds because they are familiar and comfortable. It is easier to do nothing.”
The Darin Method® is unlike traditional therapy where it does not allow you to sit and wallow in self-pity or blame. It moves you towards self-growth, change, responsibility, accountability, and maturity, where true healing takes place. Linda will enable you to be vulnerable with your darkness and to develop your walk with God. She fosters me to reach my highest potential and rely on my relationship with Him.
In my brother’s death, it brought me to Linda. However, she has brought me to a place I never thought I could be at thirty-seven years old through virtual healing sessions with The Darin Method ®. It truly transformed the way I view myself and the people around me.
Without it, I would never have realized the origins of my patterns and belief systems that were deeply rooted in my childhood, and then the choice to change. Without Linda’s spiritual guidance, mentorship, and encouragement, I would never have been able to release the strongholds of the dark emotions that kept me stuck and small through spiritual healing sessions and chakra work. Seeing God’s presence come out through Linda and the result has brought a tremendous amount of clarity to my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Thank you!